Visitors vs. Yellowstone: The Reviews Are Wild

Yellowstone’s Funniest One-Star Reviews and What Visitors Should Actually Know

Yellowstone National Park was established in 1872 as America’s first national park. It contains boiling hot springs, erupting geysers, waterfalls, mountains, forests, and one of the largest concentrations of wildlife in the Lower 48. Millions of people travel there each year to experience it.

Naturally, some of them hate it.

After driving hundreds, or possibly thousands, of miles to stand on top of one of the most active hydrothermal systems on Earth, one visitor returned to the internet and delivered this devastating scientific analysis:

“The whole place smells like farts.”

One star.

To be fair, the reviewer was not entirely wrong.

Hydrogen sulfide gas gives many of Yellowstone’s thermal areas their famous rotten-egg odor. It is a natural part of the hydrothermal activity, especially around mudpots and fumaroles. In other words, Yellowstone does smell strange, but the park cannot simply light a candle and open a window.

That review is far from the only complaint left by visitors who discovered that Yellowstone is not a theme park, the animals do not work regular shifts, and the National Park Service has not yet installed a Starbucks beside every geyser.

Too Much Nature

One Google reviewer provided a sweeping summary of the park:

“If you like trees, it’s cool, I guess.”

The reviewer then complained about spending hours in the car, limited cell service, and geysers becoming repetitive.

Trees, wildlife, volcanic features, mountain roads, and unreliable cellular reception may sound suspiciously like the ingredients of a national park. Yet to some visitors, they apparently indicate a severe lack of entertainment options.

Another reviewer found a more basic problem:

“Way too much dirt. Ya know, like soil.”

The same person also reported seeing a large number of elk but believed the other animals appeared in acceptable proportions.

This raises an important question: What is the correct elk-to-soil ratio for a satisfying vacation?

Yellowstone has not published an official answer.

Another review opened with:

“Hardly any animals.”

That complaint is impressive considering Yellowstone’s 2025 bison population was estimated at nearly 5,300 animals. The park is also home to elk, wolves, grizzly bears, black bears, moose, pronghorn, bighorn sheep, cougars, and numerous smaller species.

The problem is that Yellowstone’s wildlife has not embraced the hospitality industry.

Bears do not appear for scheduled photo opportunities. Wolves rarely stand beside the road holding signs. Moose do not accept reservations. The bison will sometimes appear in enormous numbers, but usually when they are blocking the exact road you need.

The Rangers Refused to Control the Elk

One Yelp reviewer described becoming trapped in a traffic jam because visitors had stopped to look at elk. The reviewer noticed law-enforcement vehicles traveling in the opposite direction and reached an extraordinary conclusion:

“I just couldn’t believe that these rangers let the elk do this!”

It is unclear what action the reviewer expected.

Perhaps the rangers were supposed to issue the elk a citation.

Maybe the lead elk should have been asked to provide proof of insurance.

Or perhaps Yellowstone needs a wildlife traffic officer with a reflective vest and a very small whistle.

A TripAdvisor reviewer complained that:

“Bison jams are random and can last for hours.”

That is true. Yellowstone’s largest residents occasionally walk down the road because the road is flatter and easier than the surrounding terrain. A full-grown bison can weigh around a ton, which gives it a fairly strong negotiating position regarding the right of way.

When that happens, the best available traffic-management plan is patience.

The bison will leave when the bison concludes that the meeting has ended.

No Parking Means No Parking

Several complaints about Yellowstone’s traffic and parking are less ridiculous.

The park is enormous, the major attractions are far apart, and popular parking areas can fill quickly during the summer. The National Park Service acknowledges that Yellowstone’s busiest season brings entrance lines, construction delays, crowded attractions, and traffic backups caused by roadside wildlife sightings. Road construction also occurs annually because crews have a relatively short season between snowmelt and winter.

Still, one reviewer expressed the parking situation with admirable determination:

“Did I mention that there’s no place to park? There isn’t.”

Yes, the reviewer had mentioned it. But apparently the first mention did not adequately communicate the emotional weight of the situation.

Another reviewer recommended calling Yellowstone before visiting to make sure there would be no road construction.

There is, in fact, a recorded road-information line. However, it provides updates about projects and delays. It does not allow callers to cancel construction for the duration of their vacations.

The Wilderness Lacked Amenities

A one-star TripAdvisor review of lodging near Old Faithful offered this summary:

“One star for the Tesla Charger. No WiFi. No coffee. No ice...”

The charging station apparently prevented the experience from receiving zero stars.

Another widely shared review described Yellowstone as a:

“Bigger version of Central Park, only with bears.”

The writer reportedly missed New York conveniences, including late-night food and readily available coffee.

To Yellowstone’s credit, it has not attempted to compete directly with Manhattan.

The park currently offers no 2 a.m. pastrami delivery, no subway service to Old Faithful, and very few bears trained to hail a taxi.

There are also areas with limited or nonexistent cell service. That can be inconvenient, especially when coordinating with family members. It can also be startling for visitors who have not experienced several consecutive minutes without receiving a notification.

Yellowstone recommends downloading maps and information before arriving rather than depending on a cellular connection inside the park.

The Most Mysterious Review

One review may never be fully explained:

“My parents got a divorce after I got home from Yellowstone.”

One star.

There is no additional context.

We do not know whether the park caused the divorce, revealed the need for the divorce, or was simply the last place the family visited before receiving the news.

Whatever happened, Yellowstone took the blame.

We sincerely wish the reviewer and both parents, the best.

Funny Reviews, Serious Lessons

The reviews are entertaining, but some reveal genuine misunderstandings that can become dangerous.

One visitor reported watching tourists hand-feed a moose. Others have described people approaching bison, leaving boardwalks, drinking untreated water, or attempting to photograph wildlife from only a few feet away.

Yellowstone requires visitors to remain at least 100 yards from bears, wolves, and cougars and at least 25 yards from other animals, including bison and elk. Wildlife that appears calm can charge with little warning.

Visitors should also remain on boardwalks and designated trails in thermal areas. What looks like solid ground may be a thin crust covering superheated water. More than 20 people have died from burns after entering or falling into Yellowstone hot springs.

Bear spray should be carried where it can be reached quickly, not buried under sandwiches, rain jackets, and three days of emergency granola bars. The park recommends that each member of a hiking group carry bear spray in an accessible holster.

Food and trash should also be secured. Feeding wildlife, even squirrels and birds, can make animals aggressive and dependent on people. In some cases, the animal eventually has to be killed.

What Story Residents Already Understand

People living near the Bighorns recognize many of these lessons.

We know the black bear passing through the crabapple trees is not a petting-zoo employee.

We know the mountain lion caught on a game camera was not posing for a neighborhood Facebook post.

We know that when a moose claims the driveway, the vehicle may technically belong to the moose until further notice.

Living near wildlife teaches humility. The animals do not have to fit around our schedules. We are the ones living or visiting, inside their habitat.

That does not mean every concern is foolish. A bear near a home deserves caution. A bison beside a trail deserves distance. A mountain lion sighting should be taken seriously.

But respect is different from panic, and preparation is different from demanding that nature behave like customer service.

Yellowstone Is Working as Intended

Nearly every funny review shares the same underlying complaint: Yellowstone refused to become what the visitor expected.

It smelled strange.

The animals were either absent or inconveniently abundant.

The geysers produced too much steam.

The roads were long.

The internet connection was weak.

The weather changed.

The dirt was excessively soil-like.

But none of those things means Yellowstone failed.

The smell comes from an active hydrothermal system. The traffic sometimes comes from thousands of people wanting to see the same remarkable place. The bison jams happen because nearly 5,300 wild bison do not recognize painted traffic lanes.

Yellowstone is not a controlled attraction where every experience begins on schedule. It is wild, unpredictable, inconvenient, crowded, beautiful, and occasionally smelly.

In other words, it is working exactly as intended.

So the next time you are sitting behind a bison near Hayden Valley, turn off the engine and enjoy the view.

Most people on Earth will never experience that kind of traffic jam.

And whatever you do, please do not ask the ranger why they are letting the bison do this.